America x Reader- All the Love in the World

America x Reader- All the love in the World
I lay awake in my bedroom, looking up at the glow in the dark stars that ______ and I had placed there years ago. The early morning seemed so quiet and peaceful. Behind my blue curtains, I could see the sun peering into the sky. Far down the hall, I could hear the house phone ring. I groaned.

‘Who would be calling this early in the morning?’ I thought as I glanced at my alarm clock. It read 6:01 a.m.

‘Maybe there is a 2 hour delay!’ I thought happily. I could hear one of my parents shuffling around their room to the phone. I couldn’t hear the conversation, but it lasted too long to be the school. I shrugged off a deep laying feeling of dread; yet, it wouldn’t go away. Only one thought kept repeating in my head:

‘Could something have happened to ________?’ The silent, terrifying thought arose in my mind.

It could have been a million other things, yet she was my first thought. ________ and I had grown up together. When we were 9, she was diagnosed with a rare heart disease that would cause she heart to randomly stop beating. We had been told by many doctors that there simply was no cure to whatever she has; our only option was a heart transplant. The transplant list seemed like miles and miles of names, there was no end in sight. _______ hadn’t gotten discouraged by her disease. She simply worked even harder and enjoyed her life that much more.

It was until three months ago that ______’s fate was sealed. The doctor’s called us into their office and told _____ that she had mere months to live. Her heart wasn’t strong enough to keep going.  I could clearly see the tears welling in her eyes; yet through it all, she never allowed a single tear to slide down her cheek. I, on the other hand, cried to the point of shaking. The thought of losing my best friend was unbearable.

At that time, ______ had hugged me as I cried. Within weeks, she couldn’t walk without panting from exhaustion. Her parent forced her to use a wheelchair and an oxygen tank. Day by day, her skin paled and she lost muscle mass. It was painful to see her wilt away, like the beautiful flower she was.

I had just seen _______ yesterday after school. She hadn’t been able to start her junior year, like the rest of us.  I had cringed when I saw her. She lay in a hospital bed with heart monitors and other machines hooked up to her. My heart shattered, seeing the once lively girl only being kept alive by those awful machines.

“My hair looks that bad, huh?” She coughed out a laugh, I sadly half-smiled.

Bring myself back to now, I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. I had been crying. Suddenly, I heard a stir of panicked feet. The storm of feet rushed into my room. Bright, blindly light attacked my eyes, I quickly sat up and shielded my eyes. I peaked from behind my fingers at my mom, tears streaked her face.  My heart sunk.

“Alfred, h-how do I- ________ past away last night…..” My mom whispered.


The day that I feared most had come. What would I do without ______? She was the sun to me, the center to my universe. I looked at my mom through teary eyes. She moved to my side and hugged me.

“Was it peaceful?” I managed to say.

“Yes, she died in her sleep.” My mom nodded her head.

I felt as if someone had placed a heavy weight on my chest. It was hard to breathe and my throat burned from how hard I cried.

~6 months later~

There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t thought of ______. My life has been a gray blur since she died. ______’s parents had given me a box of various things from over the years. I couldn’t bear to open the box. Now it was simply collecting dust in the back of my closet. Tomorrow will be six months to the day she died, and it will also be our birthday. Our birthday. A day, we both loved and enjoyed. Now, it was a painful reminder.

“Alfred!” A voice shouted to me. I turned my head to see Arthur followed by Matthew (my twin).

“Hi…” I said in a quiet voice. Matt frowned.

“Thinking about _______, again?” Matt asked and I silently nodded. “Alfie, we all miss her and I know you were way closer to her than me, but you need to find a way to be happy again.” Arthur nodded agreely with Matt.

I didn’t say anything as I walked inside of my house. My parent’s were in the kitchen and turned to look at me as I walked towards the stairs. No words were exchanged as I padded up the stairs and into my bedroom. This had become the norm, I guess. I rarely ate dinner and never did my homework. My grades had done a swan dive into the water, with no hopes of coming back up. My parents had sent me to counciling, tried anti-depressants; nothing touched the deep pit of despair inside of me.

When I awoke, the sun was already shining and high in the sky. My neck was killing me, I had fallen asleep in my desk chair. There was a note on my desk infront of me. I opened it.

Dear Alfie,

Today, I called you off of school. I think you should open the box Mr and Mrs _________ brought over. You should also go visit _______’s grave. You haven’t gone to see her and I bet she’s lonely without you.

Love,
Mom

I didn’t know whether to thank my mom or be mad at her. I decided to listen to the woman for once in my life. I walked over to my closet. In the back right hand corner of the small room, was the medium sized memory box _______ and I had made in 4th grade. There was glitter flaking off and pink, blue, red, and green sharpie scribbled all over it. I gripped the box in my hand and walked out of my room and out of the house. The local cemetery was only a 5 minute walk from the house I had grown up in.  ________ ‘s house was right next to mine, which had allowed us to stay out late and play. I could almost see little kid versions of Matt, _____ and I running around playing pretend or tag; but we hadn’t done that in years. I absentmindly walked, and walked, before long I was at _______’s grave.

Right in front of me, lay my best friend. I knew she was in a better place, not having to fight for her life. Though, I wish she could be here to play video games with me and eat ice cream with me when I get dumped. I sat down a few feet from her grave stone.

“So how have you been, ______?” I said awkwardly to the stone. I knew she couldn’t answer me, but I felt I like she could somehow hear me.

“I have been rough you know. I miss you, and life just isn’t the same without your smiling face in it every day. Oh you’ll be happy to know, I finally read Gone with the Wind. I know it’s your favorite.” I began to ramble on. The trees surrounding the cemetery began to move, as if trying to give me a response.  

“My favorite quote is: ‘I must have loved you for years, only I was such a stupid fool, I didn’t know it.’ For as long as I have known you, we were always together. I was so slow to realise my feelings. I didn’t realise that I loved you until you were barely breathing on your own and only those machines could keep you alive. Maybe if I had said something, you would still be here.” I continued to ramble.

“Oh, and I have our memory box. I haven’t opened yet. I guess I was waiting for you to be here too.” I picked the box up off the ground. Gently, I opened it. Inside, there were sea shells, and lots of pictures. The pictures were from the time we were toddlers all the way to the last day she had been alive. I stopped. At the bottom of the box was a letter.

Dear Alfie,

By the time, you read this I’ll be gone. I’ll have disappeared from this miserable world, only leaving behind a few traces of my existence. I’m sorry; I have hurt you so much over these past couple of years. I tried to push you away so you wouldn’t get hurt, yet you were so stubborn. Maybe that’s what made me fall in love with you. I caused you to cry, and to shake; yet through it all you remained by my side. I should thank you. If you hadn’t been there, I would have spent the last months of my life, lonely and miserable. I love you, Alfred F. Jones. When I was a little girl, I dreamt of being Mrs. Jones. I still dreamt of it as the years past. I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t want to ruin your future. Be good to yourself, Alfie. Move on and get yourself a girl friend.

I know better than you know yourself. I bet today is our 17th birthday and you have been depressed for the past six months. You prbably pulled yourself away from all of your friends and don’t talk to people. Of course, you’re probably not doing any of your homework. Tsk tsk tsk Alfred! Would I want you to ruin your future? NO! I may be physically dead, but I still live on in your heart! Alfred, Alfred, Alfred, what am I going to do with you? You are so needy. I still love you though. Just remember, live life for me. I hate seeing you sad; I want to see you smile.

With all the love in the world,

___________


I smiled; I had read the whole letter in her voice. I could even her going through the emotions of writing it; the sadness, the frusteration, the happiness, and even the love. She was right though, I needed to get my ass back on track.

I removed my glasses and wiped my eyes of any stray tears. Placing my glasses back on the bridge of my nose, I stood up. I patted the grave stone gently and picked the glittery box. I turned to walk away and said back to the stone.

“Thanks for the pep talk, _______.” I said with a smile. The breeze picked up and I swore I heard someone say:

“You better come visit, Dummy.”  I nodded my head.

“I will.”

The End